Wednesday, October 15, 2014

Accepting what I do not understand

By now, most of you know we received an unfavorable response from the American embassy regarding the visas we were trying to get for the girls. In truth, they treated us very unfairly and we did not receive a proper interview like we were due. We have contacted our state representative and are trying to get a new interview where they actually review our information and talk to us on a personal level. But until that happens, we must go home to Timu. We can't simply wait in Kampala for days on end. I guess you could say that even through the injustices of other men, we received an answer from the Lord about our future. For now, the answer is to live and work in Timu. For now, we're not returning home anytime soon. Terrill still must go to Leiden, Holland in mid-December to defend his dissertation. He'll have to go alone. The girls and I will wait for him in Kampala. 

You know, my mind was prepared for anything. I came to Kampala looking for answers. And as has been normal for this year, I found a bunch of closed doors. My mind was prepared, but my heart was not. Why could not my thoughts and emotions align in this? Why does it still hurt so much even when I'm prepared to accept what God has answered? Slowly, slowly my heart is catching up and I'm gaining the equilibrium between my thoughts and feelings. Slowly, I'm accepting what has been out of my control from the beginning. I've got my answer...we can't come home right now...and I believe this is God's best for me. Now I pray that joy will return and replace the disappointment. I pray that I can accept what I don't understand. God has got to be at work in this, even when I can't see it. 
On a nature walk in Kampala
Kampala: our home away from home (Timu) away from home (US).
Timu sunset...what we're heading home to tomorrow.

3 comments:

The Reeds said...

Oh Amber... :( I will be praying for you all. Especially as December nears. Terrill, if it were in our power (budget) we would come and celebrate your accomplishment. I hate for you to be alone but trust God will somehow make it a sweet and special time. I'm sorry guys...

Larry said...

Hmmm your friends the Reeds have said it well. We're praying and trusting our heavenly Father to somehow make the immediacy of this season rich and full of his grace. That yes, you rediscover joy in the waiting. I've been drilling into Hudson Taylor's memoirs lately and have been moved by his gentle spirit, heartfelt prayers and abiding trust. That in the midst of cascading disappointments God truly knows best, always present, comforting and providing...

Cassidy said...

My heart yearns to be close to you each right now, and my eyes brim with tears when I pray for you. I long for the day of reunion and am praying for your hearts to rest securely in the Anchor of the soul.